Attempt of Resuscitation
by Chibi-E
Summary: My first fic ever! Imagine this: Yoh and his gang+Jeanne´s powers+a hungry Horo Horo. The result? This weirdo story! Please read it!


*~Attempt of Resuscitation~*  
  
Chibi-E: Yo, people! Here I am, writing this fic for you. This is my very. very, very, very. first attempt, so it's not the greatest (phrase stolen from CCS ^_^). It is a very stupid fic, but if you want to read it, go ahead!  
  
A/N: I DO-NOT-OWN-SHAMAN-KING. I wish I could. * evil eyes * I would kill Lyserg and Marco. Mwuahahahahahaha !  
  
Conchi: Don't listen to her, she's a very disturbed person.  
  
Chibi-E:* vein popped * What did ya say you disgusting perverted fox ?! * throws Conchi into Jeanne's iron maiden *  
  
Conchi: Mmmmmm !...  
  
Chibi-E: Whaaaat? I can't hear you! * throws the iron maiden into the sea * Oops. Well, I better start with this story now.Hope you like it!  
  
***************************************  
  
It was a beautiful morning in the Asakura's household, and Yoh was standing by the window, feeling the summer breeze on his face and wondering how much time he could stay like that until Anna finds him and forces him to train. T-T A bird flew from a tree into Yoh's window and settled there. Yoh looked at him, wishing he could be like that little bird, without problems, with nobody forcing him to train, with nobody chasing him all the time.And then:  
  
* SPLAT!*  
  
Bird: Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!... * falls off the window *  
  
Yoh: What the--?!  
  
Lyserg (at the garden): Well done, Morphing! But next time, try while he is flying.  
  
Yoh: Lyserg?! What the hell do you think you're doing?!  
  
Lyserg: * smiling stupidly * Oh, hi Yoh! I was just training with Morphing. Do you want to join us?  
  
Yoh: Training?! That's why you killed that poor little bird?!  
  
Lyserg: What? Oh, you mean this?... * holds the bird in the air with his hand *  
  
Bird: piiiiiiiiiiiii. * dies *  
  
Yoh (with his eyes hidden in downcast shadows): ... * walks out to the garden *  
  
Lyserg: ... * Sweatdrops *  
  
Yoh (eyes still hidden): ...Amidamaru... * takes Harusame sword out of its sheath * ... OVERSOUL!!!  
  
Lyserg: ...* gulps * ... errrrr, Yoh?...What are you doing?... No, no, don't do it! Noooooooo! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!...  
  
* Lyserg is cut into pieces by Yoh's attack * (Chibi-E: Yes, die Lyserg, DIE! Mwuahahahaha!)  
  
Horo Horo and Len get out of the house into the garden. (a/n: Ren/Lien/Len are the same)  
  
Ren: Hey Yoh! What was all that noise?  
  
Yoh: * he turns to look at his friend * Aaaaaaaaaah!  
  
Ren: What? Looks like you have seen a ghost... he he, I'm so funny...  
  
Yoh: Ren, is that you? Your face is white!  
  
Ren: White? Oh, yeah, it is my beauty mask, it is made with milk. It is pretty useful ya know? It makes my skin softer while I'm sleeping, and when I wake up, I don't have to walk all the way to the kitchen to get milk. * he licks the milk around his lips *  
  
Yoh and Horo Horo turn white and step slowly away from their friend.  
  
Len: What?!  
  
Horo Horo: Nothing. Hey Yoh, what was all that noise you made? You woke us up, you kno- Hey, what's THAT?! * pointing to what was left of Lyserg *  
  
Yoh: . * Sweatdrops *  
  
Horo Horo: Meat! Oh, but it is all over the grass! We mustn't waste food!  
  
He takes a barbecue from somewhere and starts cooking the "meat".  
  
Yoh turns white: .  
  
Horo Horo (singing): Fresh meat, fresh meat...Oh... good fresh meat...  
  
Anna and Tamao get out of the house, followed by Ryu.  
  
Anna: What is all this noise?!  
  
Tamao: Did something bad happen? * looking around her worriedly * Oh, please, don't tell me that Pikachu Denjiha Kaminari the third is back!  
  
Anna: * giving a glance at the pink-haired girl * You're the only one who remembers his name.and no, I don't see him here. Yoh, what happened?  
  
Yoh (still white): ...  
  
Ryu: Hey, Horo Horo! Are we having a barbecue? Great! Is that meat fresh? Let me show you how to barbecue meat...  
  
Yoh (still white): ...  
  
Anna: Yoh?  
  
Tamao: Yoh-sama! What happens to you?! Anna-sama, please do something!  
  
Anna: ... Yoh... --_--* (vein pops)  
  
Meanwhile, Manta arrives talking with Jun Tao.  
  
Ren (drinking a bottle of milk): ... milk, milk... me loves milk... little Ren can't live without milk...  
  
(Chibi-E: Probably it was his bottle number 33, he he.)  
  
Len hears his sister's voice and suddenly "recovers consciousness" .  
  
Jun (talking to Manta): Oh yeah, and Ren can be soooo cute! On winter, he always uses his "Little Bunny" pyjamas and sleeps with his teddy bear.I think I've got some pictures here...  
  
Manta: Hihihi. ^_^;  
  
Ren: Yo, sis! How--* suddenly realizes of the picture and stares at Manta * You! What do you think you're doing talking to MY sister, you little gnome?! And. Hey! That's me in my little bunny pyjamas! Aaaaaaaaaah!  
  
Ren starts chasing Manta all around the garden, trying to kill him with his attacks, while Manta cries anime-stile.  
  
Manta: Wait, I just. * avoids one of Ren's attacks * .Hey, I was just.WOW! *avoids another attack * Please Ren, just let me explain you.  
  
**~BAM~**  
  
The next thing everybody knew was that Yoh was lying on the floor, with a black eye and with some blood coming out of his nose.  
  
Yoh: .Hum?. What happened? Is this a dream? Oh, I get it, it is that Rocky dream again!  
  
Yoh starts to run to where Anna was. (a/n: You know, Rocky, the movie, the part in where Rocky tries to get to where his love was.)  
  
Yoh: Anna!...Anna!...Anna!... * acting surprisingly well like Rocky, with some boxing gloves on his hands and boxing clothes that he took from somewhere *  
  
Anna: * vein popped * .  
  
**~THWACK!~**  
  
This time, Anna slapped Yoh, making him land on the grass. Everyone sighed, as they watched the young itako tiding Yoh to a tree with a very strong rope.  
  
While that happened, Horo Horo and Ryu where back to work on the barbecued "meat".  
  
Horo Horo: Hey this meat is still too hard! And I like it more soft...  
  
Ryu: That's because you didn't put this sauce on it as I told you! I have to say that this meat isn't of a good quality...but well, it's meat after all!  
  
?????: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I'm burning!  
  
Ryu: .  
  
?????: PLEASEEEE! HEEEEELP MEEEE!!!  
  
Horo Horo: Hey, look! * pointing at the barbecue * The meat is talking! Cool!  
  
Jun: Oh, poor meat! Put it out of the fire, hurry!  
  
Horo Horo: I'm coming, I'm coming.  
  
He sticks the "talking meat" with a folk and puts it on a plate.  
  
Anna: * staring at the meat * Is it ready to be eaten?  
  
Meat: * gulps * . -_-; (A/N: yes, this meat can gulp. Why? Because I say so! XD)  
  
Jun: Hi there you cute little meaty thingie! Tell us: what's your name?  
  
Anna: Does it matter? It is my dinner after all. * threatening the meaty thing with a folk and a knife *  
  
Meat: Please don't eat me! It's me, Lyserg Diethyl!  
  
Horo Horo: Lyserg?... Hey man, I didn't recognize you! Have you sunbathed? Your skin looks darker!  
  
** Everyone falls anime-style **  
  
Lyserg?: Horo Horo, just in case you didn't notice. You've just barbecued me, you baka!!!  
  
Tamao: Oh, poor Lyserg-san! *takes her notebook out * Please Kokuri-sama, tell me what is going to happen now...Please Kokuri- sama, Kokuri-sama.  
  
Tamao reads the result out loud: "Watch out above you."  
  
Ren: What is that supposed to mean?  
  
Suddenly, a helicopter with a big X painted landed next to Tamao, making her faint. Everyone looks at it and they see.The X-LAWS, of course!  
  
*Church-like music *  
  
Holy Girl Iron Maiden Jeanne (yes, long and complete, I really like her!): Lyserg Diethyl, you don't deserv tu dai sou I won--. *music stops *  
  
Marco: Ejem.Water, Maiden-sama?  
  
Jeanne (let's keep the short one): Oh ,ies, dhanks, Varco. * drinks * That's better, thank you, Marco.  
  
Marco: Shall I play the church-like music again?  
  
Jeanne: Oh, no, thanks, it is okay like this. Now, as I was saying. Lyserg Diethy-  
  
*~BAM, BAM!~*  
  
She stares at Marco, who is hitting the tape recorder that had broken the tape with the church-like music. Suddenly, Marco is caught by Shamash in some kind of electric chair and gets a high voltage shock.  
  
Jeanne: As I was telling you (again), you don't deserve to die, Lyserg Diethyl, so I'm going to remake your body from the pieces that where left after some kid killed you. * looks to where Yoh was tided *  
  
Everybody stares at Yoh at the same time.  
  
Yoh: What?! He killed a little innocent bird!  
  
Everybody stares at "Lyserg".  
  
Lyserg?: What?! I was training and he attacked me with no reason, so I had to kill hi-  
  
* Anna hits both Lyserg and Yoh *  
  
Anna: Oh, shut up! --_--* (Chibi-E: Anna rules!)  
  
Jeanne: . Well, let's begin.  
  
Suddenly, all the pieces of barbecued meat started to join making a big bunch of meat (at the best "Terminator" style) and .  
  
Everybody: Eeeeeeeeeeeeew!  
  
Lyserg (new and... improved?): Hey, what happens to you guys? Aren't you happy for seeing me once again?  
  
Anna: not really.  
  
** Everybody Sweatdrops **  
  
Yoh (still tided to the tree): Hum.Lyserg, in case you haven't realized yet... your foot is growing out of your head.  
  
Lyserg: * Sweatdrops *.but, it doesn't look so bad, does it?...  
  
** Everybody nods **  
  
Lyserg cries in the best anime style: Why, Jeanne-sama? Why did you do this to me, my goddess?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. (too long, my finger hurts.).yyyyyyyyyyyy???!!!  
  
~El Fin, The End or whatever you want~  
  
*****************************  
  
Chibi-E: Well, that was it. My first fic ever. It is kinda stupid, but it came out better that what I expected (I expected almost nothing, really) :b  
  
Ponchi: I completely agree with you.  
  
Chibi-E: * the vein again * .why you little! * Stabs Ponchi with the Harusame *  
  
Ponchi: Hey, you don't need to be soooo rough with meeeee! * puts little cuttie puppy face *  
  
Chibi-E: * throws Ponchi into the Hell and closes the door * Burn in there, you raccoon wanna be!  
  
Me again: Well, as I was saying, it is my very first attempt and yes, my first attempt was in English, and please excuse me if I make too many grammar or spelling mistakes (I'm argentinian, I speak Spanish!) So, if you liked it, good for you and better for me: review! And if you didn't like it. review too! Pleaaaseeeee??? * putting little cuttie puppy face *  
  
P/S: For the foot thing: it was Marco's foot, of course. Horo Horo had eaten a bit of his "barbecued meat" (hehehe. bad, bad Horo Horo XD) and Iron Maiden Jeanne didn't have enough flesh, so Marco is the one who has to suffer, because he had hit an innocent tape recorder (Hey! For me it is enough reason to making him suffer.) XD  
  
P/S 2: Oh! Do you want to know who Pikachu Denjiha Kaminari the third is? (I remember the name, I remember the name!) Well, it is from another fic, not mine, but that I really like: "Shaman Bros Melee the Movie" (It is here, in ff.com). So, READ IT! Please forgive me, Black_D and Kitsune Asakura, but take it more as a eulogy to your great job ^_^ Oh. and Pokemon rules, yo! 


End file.
